


Giant Size Rise to Vote, Sir

by dogsbody32



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Beavis and Butt-head, Captain America (Movies), Daria (Cartoon), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, crack is wack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 08:49:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2018715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogsbody32/pseuds/dogsbody32
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After this, anybody would need a cocktail and a lobotomy.  (Huh huh, huh huh.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Giant Size Rise to Vote, Sir

Senator Daria Morgendorffer polished her glasses on the cuff of her blouse, replaced them on her face, and leaned forward to speak into the microphone.

"Director Hill, perhaps you'd care to enlighten this committee about certain projects which were carried out under your former organization's aegis."

 _Perhaps you'd care to kiss my ass_ , thought Hill quite loudly. "Whatever the committee requires," she said at a very reasonable volume.

"First, we'd like to ascertain exactly what, or who, is a" -- Morgendorffer flipped a few pages in the bound report before her -- "'Man-Thing'?"

Hill opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by sniggering, awful laughter from the public observation deck.

It reminded Hill of cockroaches scuttling around an abandoned lot in search of tasty, tasty dung to eat.

It reminded Sloane of -- well, _she_ looked terrified, anyway.

"Huh huh, huh huh. Hey, Beavis, she's talking about man-things."

"Heh heh, heh heh. Whoa, really, Butt-head?"

"Yeah," said the other man. "Maybe you should, like, take yours out and show it to her. Huh huh, huh huh."

"Oh, oh yeah. Heh heh."

The sound of the zipper in the suddenly silent chamber, the look on Morgendorffer's face as she brought the gavel down over and over while shouting "GUARDS! GUARDS!", the sniggering laughter somehow getting _louder_ \-- well.

Maria Hill wouldn't turn around for all the amnesty international, but the look on the committee's faces made this day a win, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> I was bored and wanted to self-amuse.
> 
> Daria, Beavis, and Butt-head ©2014 MTV Networks, Paramount, Viacom, etcetera ad infinitum.
> 
> Maria Hill ©2014 Marvel, Disney, etcetera ad infinitum.


End file.
